I think it's pretty safe to say that most people know the legal profession is stressful and even moreso when you are just starting out. You have people coming to you most likely on the worst day of their life, a senior partner breathing down your neck to get a motion drafted in an area of law you have a thimble full of knowledge about, and you're still trying to figure out why the damn copy machine keeps eating your exhibits. It's easy to get lost in the minutiae of daily life but let's not forget we "work to live" not "live to work". There is nothing sadder than someone who gets to the end of their professional life and realizes they missed out on so much life all for the sake of the almighty billable hour.
Gentle reader (in the words of Lady Whistledown) I am here to tell you that yes, you should absolutely do the best job but also don't kill yourself doing it and remember you have a life outside of the law. We are human "beings" not human "doings" and as much as I find the law fascinating there are times when even I need to step back and take a look at the bigger picture. This not only helps me as a future practitioner of the law but also as a human so here in no particular order are 5 ways you can "get a life" while doing this thing called law:
1. Don't forget your family and friends.
I know it's cliche but it really is true that on your death bed you aren't going to be asking if you made that one filing on time or if you were able to get that one deal brokered for the client. No, you're going to want those you love closest to you and you will want the memories of your time spent with them gently carrying you to the other shore of this existence. While Brian Tannnebaum would tell you "I know, you don't have time to get involved, you have kids. How unique. Cut the crap, you have time" I am here to tell you that this "time" does not last very long when you have kids (additionally, I would very much like to know if Mr. Tannebaum has children, how that relationship is now). One minute they are in diapers and the next your eyes are glazing over while listening to the 400th dissertation on Minecraft strategy. Additionally, you might want to buck the tradition of being an attorney with a long trail of ex-spouses and maybe spend some time with them as well.
2. Move your body.
As someone who wishes they could be just a brain in a jar not having to constantly maintain this "meat suit", I get it, you don't want to exercise but trust and believe it does make a world of difference. It improves your mood as well your cognitive abilities. Now I'm not saying you need to go get a gym membership (although you could), or purchase a bunch of fancy exercise equipment, I'm just saying you have to move your body. The key is to find something you actually enjoy. Personally I like to take walks and I'm fortunate that my office building has a peloton studio that I can either bike or use the tread so if I'm feeling particularly stressed I'll pop down to the 2nd floor and take a virtual walk on the tread while looking at landscapes of Antigua. If the weather is nice, I'll go down to the Riverwalk and take a walk at lunch time. Like I said, it doesn't have to be anything fancy, just find a way to move your body that you enjoy; whether that be boot camp style work outs, yoga, or just playing ball with your kids; find something you enjoy.
3. Maybe eat something with nutritional value?
While we are on the topic of health, you might want to put the DoorDash burger down and eat a few vegetables. Again, I'm not saying go all in on a crazy fad diet and restricting all the good food in life, I'm just saying maybe do that in moderation. Make sure you get enough protein in the morning so you aren't cranky by mid-day. Start packing your lunches. Not only will this save you time and money but it will ensure you actually eat something in the middle of the day and aren't wondering why you are a raving lunatic by 4:00 pm. Having a steady stream of good nutrition throughout the day will help your overall health but also help you not to bite everyone's head off due to low blood sugar.
4. Schedule Vacations.
I will be the first one to admit I am TERRIBLE about doing this but thankfully I have a spouse who helps me remember I'm not an android and I do need to have some fun and relaxation every now and then. This does not need to be a 5 star Ritz Carlton vacation. I am no stranger to camping trips and Motel 6 getaways but just getting away from your usual routine and seeing something different can really help give you perspective and it also makes you aware that "hey, there is life outside of the office!". There have been times when we would go and be a tourist of our own state (easy in Florida) and spend an extended weekend a few hours away from home.
5. Practice Gratitude.
It is super easy to get pessimistic in this field. You oftentimes see the worst side of people and you really start to wonder if the human race really is the "drama". One thing that has helped me is to keep a gratitude journal or if I don't have it with me I just take a moment to just list out 5 things I'm grateful for in that moment. This really puts all the madness we are subjected to on the daily into perspective. "Yes, I did have an awful mediation today BUT we were at least able to get all parties to the table and we were able to work out this one contentious issue". It really helps reframe things and keeps me out of the "nothing is ever going to work" mindset.
Just remember, law is a fascinating career and will afford all of us many opportunities, but let's not forget there is a whole world outside the doors of our practice.
As to your point #1, yes, Brian Tannebaum has children. Daughters, I believe. I remember once we were lucky enough to have Brian come to class and speak to us while he was in Tampa visiting his daughter at USF. My impression is that Brian is devoted to his family and has a good sense of priorities. I often refer to Brian as "Mr. Old School." That applies to old school family values as well as the way he practices law.
ReplyDeleteYour Point #4 is valid. Only once is my younger "trial practice" career before I switched entirely to appellate work did I take a vacation of two weeks duration. That was in 2000 when my son and daughter were 10 years old. We drove our new Chevy Suburban from Detroit to Yellowstone National Park and back. It was great.
Except the stress I was under with an active family law practice before leaving to make sure my cases were handled while we were gone was crazy. And the messes I had to clean up, despite all my prep in advance, once we got back, took weeks or months of extra time away from my family. I was in a firm with other lawyers, but in family law the clients don't think of hiring a "law firm." They hire an individual lawyer and are very reluctant to have anyone else in the firm handle their case while their lawyer is on vacation.
I concluded that it just wasn't worth it, so all subsequent vacations were shorter. They were either long weekends or not more than a week in duration. Then we moved to Florida while I simultaneously switched to doing law firm tech consulting and only appeal cases. Finally, I was free to do longer vacations.
Don't fall into the trap I fell into during the first half of my career. Find a way to structure your practice so you can have a two week vacation without going crazy before or after. It is easier now with so many hearings being remote. If needed, you can do a hearing from wherever you happen to be. It isn't ideal. But if it prevents the typical pre- and post-vacation carnage most small firm lawyers experience, it will be worth it.
Great article Jennifer! I totally agree with the points you've made here. I think it is crucial that we have a work-life balance. There are 24 hours in a day and I find time blocking to be extremely helpful when trying to attain this balance. I try and set aside 8 hours of sleep, 8 hours of work, 8 hours of free time. Of course, in law school, our studies can cut into that last 8 hours of "free time".
ReplyDeleteI think one has to dig deep to devote those extra few hours to law school and reach our true potential. All of the points you outlined can certainly help.
I also wanted to briefly comment on point #2 and what has helped me with my own daily activities and exercise. The Apple Watch. I recently purchased this smart device and can't recommend it enough if you wish to become more active. I think for my next blog post I will write a post explaining in detail the benefits of this technology and how it can improve mental health for law students.
Kyle, I look forward to your post on the health benefits of the Apple Watch. Despite my advanced age and health issues, I try to be active. My 1- and 3-year-old granddaughters require that, plus I start each day walking my dog and try to get as many bike rides in as possible, although not every day in the summer heat.
DeleteMy standard bike route is about 10 miles through the areas south and east of downtown Orlando. While I suppose heatstroke and cardiac arrest are risks, local and visiting drivers are a greater one.
Nearly all of you are in the Apple ecosystem, so an Apple Watch makes sense for you. I am (at least in the legal community) in the minority as an Android user. The general population in the US is about evenly split between the two platforms. Worldwide, due to the cost of Apple products, Android dominates.
My Samsung Galaxy 5 watch has many health features including the standard step counting, heart rate, blood oxygen level, etc. It also measures blood pressure and ECG. Its sleep tracking is great. I love the snore detection, which uses the phone's microphone - and unfortunately requires me to keep the phone on the nightstand. I used to keep it tucked away in a drawer at night.
My wife wears an older version of the Oura Ring to monitor health metrics. It also does a great job and is less obtrusive than wearing a watch while sleeping.
The Apple-using members of my family don't use their Apple Watches for sleep tracking because they don't like the feel of wearing a watch in bed and they have found that battery life is not sufficient. They leave them on the charger overnight. I think the battery life issue has been solved with more recent versions, so I am interested to hear how that works.
My Samsung watch has plenty of battery power to get through the day and overnight. I put it on the charger while I shower in the morning and I am good for another day and overnight. Rings like the Oura last about a week between charges.
I agree with you that having a device to measure health and exercise metrics is a good motivator to stay active.
Kyle that's awesome! I also have an Apple Watch and I don't monitor things as much as I would like but I do have it set up to record my Peloton activities and whenever I do an Apple Fitness Yoga class. My brother and SIL just got a Tonal for their home gym that basically gives you a personal trainer in your home. They love it and it might be something I look into after I graduate.
DeleteAmazing advice - I had no idea how hard this road would be - working full time, going to school, being a single parent. How on earth are we supposed to also work in time for self care?! However, when I finally made it a priority - taking the focus off grades and ensuring I was getting exercise and excellent nutrition - maybe even finding the time to meditate - my grades actually got better! At the 10,000 foot view it totaly makes sence, but is so easy to get mired in seemingly urgent priorities which will never actually matter.
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